Making Etiquette Easy: The Delicate Nature of Formal Dining

It’s hard to believe, but Thanksgiving – one of my favorite holidays – is right around the corner.  With Thanksgiving, comes the ushering in of the official holiday season which is sure to be filled with a plethora of both social and professional events. As we enter into this time of cheer, I thought I’d take a moment to revisit some key components to formal dining as it can be somewhat intimidating (particularly when several courses are served).  Fear the pheasant no more as I have compiled a list of formal dining tips to help solve culinary-related dilemmas.

-Always take cues from your host. Your host will serve as your guide throughout the meal. It is a general rule of thumb that you should wait to start your meal until the host has invited you to do so, either verbally or by picking up the first course silver. You don’t want to start eating before then as the host may plan to say grace or give a toast. Normally, the host will wait until all of the guests are seated and have received their food before he or she begins.  You should also follow the host’s direction for the timing of the various courses, as well as for the meal’s conclusion.
 

-Certain Silverware Has Certain Roles. If you observe how the table is set for a formal meal you will notice that there are usually two or three of everything depending on the courses forthcoming.  This is where a lot of folks start to panic.  The simplest way to navigate this conundrum is to remember that utensils are placed in the order of the course with the first course farthest from the plate.  So your salad fork will be to the left of your dinner fork. For spoons, look at the size of the head on the spoon first. The larger and wider the head means that that it is your soup spoon and the smaller and narrower spoon will be your teaspoon. 
 

-The Dreaded Bread Plate. I can’t tell you how many times someone has put their bread on my bread plate after the bread basket has been passed.   Many times further confusion commences when someone else at the table has correctly placed their bread.  To assure you are not the cause of a bread upheaval, remember that your bread plate is always to the left of your table setting and place it accordingly.

-Is That My Drink? When seated at a formal table, knowing which drink is yours can give pause, especially when the person next to you is also uncertain.  I always find the following saying helpful, “In order to drink right you must drink from the right”. With that being said, all of your glasses should be organized from widest to narrowest to the right of your place setting. Your water glass should be your widest glass and closest to you, followed by your wine glass (or glasses if both red and white wine will be served), and finally your champagne glass.

            Don’t let the formalities of formal dining take away from the enjoyment of your meal.  If your host is serving a formal meal, it means that much time and effort has been spent to make the occasion a special one.  Just keep these simple rules in your mind and you will dine with ease and delight! 

Photo Courtesy of: noahherrera

Making Etiquette Easy: Email and Text Misfires... Tackling the Unintended Consequences

                Have you ever sent or received an email that was intended for someone else?  In our fast-paced professional and social environments, technology has provided us with several tools that encourage rapid communication.  On second glance, perhaps we rely too heavily on auto-fill or are too quick to send a text without verifying that it is being sent to the intended.  Take a minute, okay a few seconds, to consider next steps should you find yourself in this scenario.

 

                -Sending emails or texts to the wrong person. There’s nothing worse than that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you hit send and the recipient was not who you intended it to be.  As soon as you realize you have made the error, take responsibility immediately by following up with a phone call or direct email to the unintended recipient.  Apologize for the error and ask that they kindly ignore your email or text.  In a work setting, depending on the sensitivity of the email or text content, you may also need to loop in your boss and/or the legal team, so corrective action can be taken. Just remember to accept the possible consequences, address them as best you can, and move forward having learned from the experience.

                -Receiving emails or texts intended for someone else. Those who send emails or texts to unintended recipients may not immediately realize their error. No action is necessary from you should you find yourself on the receiving end of a misfire, but as a courtesy, it doesn’t hurt to send a polite email letting the sender know that you have received their email and believe it was intended for someone else. This way, they are alerted of their mistake and can get the email or text to the appropriate person.  I received a “rogue” email recently, and to avoid further embarrassment for the sender (it was a group email), I called and left a gracious message to make him aware of the mistake.  

                -Make it a habit to always double check. Always make it a habit to review emails every time prior to hitting send, whether you are distributing a corporate-wide confidential memo or confirming your weekend plans with a close friend.  Taking a few extra minutes to double check the “to” line can prevent these particular mishaps and is the only way to save you from heart burn every time.

 

                It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, and rush through simple tasks such as emailing.  Most of the time communication misfires will cause nothing more than minor embarrassment; however, they can have the potential to cause serious damage or consequences, especially in work scenarios.  Think of it as having an internal pause button… push it before hitting send.

 Photo Courtesy of nvtrlab

Making Etiquette Easy: Keeping your Campaign Season Composure in Check While at Work

 

Every two years in the fall, our lives are consumed by the passion of politics as we near the first Tuesday in November, Election Day. Our yards, cars, and conversations all tend to reflect our political beliefs, as well as the candidates we endorse. Even though as Americans we have the right to practice the first amendment, I urge caution when it comes to political discourse in your professional landscape. Below, I have compiled a few things to consider before opening the door to politics in the office.  

                ­-The politicians we support are a direct reflection of what we believe.  Even in Texas, not everyone prescribes to the same belief system.  People come from a variety of backgrounds and upbringings, which ultimately shapes their world view. Our ability to elect government officials who we feel represent us is important to folks, and with that can come a strong emotional tie. Choosing to discuss politics in the office can be similar to discussing religion; it can be controversial, and a discussion can become heated and out of control very quickly.

-Refrain from discussing other candidates. Bad mouthing a particular candidate or government official has the potential to offend a coworker if it happens to be someone they support, and to some, this may seem as if you are mocking their personal beliefs. These situations can lead to you not only loosing respect from your coworkers, but it can make group work and projects uncomfortable as well.  At the end of the day, political discourse can become a distraction to you and your coworkers and hinder productivity.

-Political discussions do not have to be avoided at all times. In our business, political discussions occur more frequently as the news cycle hits on policies and topics impactful to our clients or their industry.  As this opens the door for political discussions in the work place, we have a pretty clear picture of where coworkers and clients stand politically and feel comfortable managing our discussions around politics.  However, even when you know where folks stand on the political spectrum, there is still a suitable time and place for these discussions. So if there is ever a question to the appropriateness, I recommend erring on the side of caution and choosing a different subject matter.  

Even though politics may be on the forefront of our minds during the month of October, remember to keep your composure in check while at work, and among co-workers or clients. There’s no need to compromise your professionalism or relationships by “going there.”

 

Making Etiquette Easy: Organizing Outrageously Overloaded Calendars

 

These days it doesn’t take much to feel overrun by busy schedules and bulging calendars that seem to beg for more hours in a day. I don’t know about you, but I have a “master” calendar where I meticulously record all commitments in pencil (I know, it’s old school, but it works) and then I have my computer Outlook and iPhone calendars.  As I’m sure you can relate, having too many calendars can lead to double booking and over-committed days.  Here are some tips on how to organize multiple calendars and ultimately stop calendar madness:

 

                -Choose a primary calendar and sync it up to your devices.  It’s really wise to choose a calendar program you use frequently and have constant access to, such as Outlook. Once you’ve done that, go through each of your existing calendars and import important dates to assure that everything is in one place. As I mentioned, I keep a hard copy of my calendar (it’s my constant companion) as a reference and always use a pencil, as dates and appointments tend to shift on short notice.

                -Color code your calendars for different portions of your life. If you are a busy professional (like pretty much everyone I know!) and like to stay as organized as possible, you can color code your calendars to denote different categories of events. For example, I use different colors for work, our daughter’s schedule, family events, and social events.  This method has really helped me stay on track with my calendar and maintain that elusive healthy work/life balance.

                -Share your calendars. As technology has evolved, we now have the ability to share our calendars with others. My husband and I share calendars so we can both can make calendar additions or changes, and remain on the same page regarding family events and work commitments. As we both juggle our careers and family life, this has helped us to stay organized and avoid what we call “the double book.”

 

                Our schedules and calendars can get out of hand very quickly, so taking these few simple steps to get organized will help avoid feeling overwhelmed by that over-committed monster of a calendar.