Making Etiquette Easy: Internet Forums

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Internet forums, chat rooms, and fan sites attract a wide audience. From avid sports fans, gamers, or stay at home moms who want to give advice, it’s safe to say that the viral communication is going on 24/7. The beauty of these forums- whether membership-based or open to the public, is that anyone can join in. The downside is that foul play tends to run amuck…

• You are free to be anonymous, but keep it nice. Lots of folks tend to get extra-heated about controversial topics and voice their anger through forums. And even though anyone can state anything under their alias name, it doesn’t make it okay to be disrespectful.
• Do not use all caps. Using all caps is the equivalent of shouting at someone, and it’s distracting to read as well.
• If you are posting feedback, make sure it’s relevant. Comments like “Agreed” are best left unsaid. Try to bring value to a conversation thread or refrain from typing at all. In that respect, read the posts beforehand to make sure you aren’t cutting in with a random thought.
• Keep your signatures (anonymous or not) small and to the point. People enter these chat rooms and forums to read content, not your bio.
• Always keep on topic. Don’t dig up old threads to respond to that have clearly been archived for a long time. There’s a reason the conversation didn’t go anywhere the first time.
• When posting pictures, make sure they are web-appropriate. Nothing controversial (or oversized) should distract from your message.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Taking Pictures

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We carry cameras with us everywhere- from small digital cyber shots to smart phone applications, we can capture anything at nearly any time. And in a society that is visually-driven, it can be hard to draw the line between privacy and public. Here are some pieces of the ‘bigger etiquette picture:’

• Are pictures allowed? Check to see if you can take photographs. Some historical places and churches have stiff rules about photographs and you might risk getting in trouble.
• Out takes: Never take pictures near or in dressing rooms, near cash wraps or where sensitive information might be displayed, or near any other places that could be seen as incriminating.
• Do not block people: If you are in a public place, such as a concert, make sure your photographs don’t obstruct the view for other people.
• Ask permission: If you are taking pictures that include strangers, you should certainly ask their permission. If not before, be sure to show them the photograph and ask their permission to keep it.
• Post Protection: Prior to uploading photos of others on your computer to share with the world, be sure to get permission from the other people in the pictures. It is not appropriate for them to find out their embarrassing photos from college have been shared with the world without their consent. If you question anything, wait.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: New Babies

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Just because babies are too young to know anything about right and wrong- let alone etiquette, it doesn’t mean that adults are exempt from minding their manners when in the presence of one. If you’ve recently had an infant addition to your family, or maybe just to a good friend, keep these things in mind:

• Three Day Rule: New mothers need their rest and they also need time to bond with their baby. It’s best not to call or request a visit (unless told you could) until at least three days have passed. Immediate family is the exception to the rule, though even then they shouldn’t insist on staying the night.
• Do the Work: One of the most common poor etiquette pitfalls is to show up at the newborns home and watch the new mom have to work while everyone holds her child. Guests should never expect meals or to be served, and should instead offer to help in any way possible.
• Use Technology: New parents should utilize their voicemail and websites to publicly announce when visitors are welcome, which should help prevent unannounced guests.
• Adult Thank-You’s: New parents should send notes of thanks for gifts from themselves, not on behalf of the child. They should also send out birth announcements within three months to notify friends and family.
• Listen to Mom: Take cues from the new mother. If she’s dressed in pajamas, tells you she has to feed the newborn, or let’s you know her pediatrician doesn’t want the baby passed around much, listen. It might be that you want to return to visit at another time.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: New Neighbors

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Whether you’re just moving into the neighborhood or you’re welcoming some newcomers yourself, here are some social graces to remember that will create lasting impressions made to go the distance of your stay:

When they’re new:

• Always make sure to introduce yourself to them first. Everyone loves to feel welcomed.
• Create a list of neighborhood advice, including things they wouldn’t think to ask and important dates
• Promptly give them any house keys you may have been storing for the previous tenant.
• Always call before coming over, even if they live next door and you know they are home. Everyone needs privacy and an advance warning.

When you’re new:

• Host your own housewarming party to get to know the neighbors.
• Wave at your neighbors, even if you haven’t had a chance to meet them yet
• Be respectful and pay attention to any grievances you might be causing your neighbors (i.e. your dog running into their yard, the tree limbs that need to be trimmed, etc.)
• Always write thank you notes and leave them for your neighbors if they bring you anything.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Elevators

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They go up and down but the rules never change. Elevator etiquette is something anyone should have, especially if you’re a businessperson. We interface with our peers everyday on elevators, and one bad move there may translate to a lack of professionalism elsewhere. Here are some tips for riding right:

• Exit First: Always let outgoing passengers get off prior to entering the elevator. Most people understand this, but remarkably fewer actually do it.
• Don’t be Lazy: If you’ve only got one or two floors to travel and you’re in reasonably good shape, take the stairs. It can be aggravating for passengers who still have thirty floors to go and they have to stop twice for your quick in and out.
• Hold the Door: If you notice someone’s trying to make the elevator, hold the door for them. If you’ve been holding the door for a short bit waiting on colleagues or friends, don’t be disrespectful to the people already in the carriage and let your colleagues catch the next ride.
• Be Sick Solo: If you’re not well, wait for an empty carriage to arrive before getting on and contaminating others with your illness
• Keep your Space: People get very uncomfortable in elevators, which is only exacerbated by people getting too close to one another. Try to stay equidistant between passengers.
• Don’t expect someone to push your button for you. Once you’ve pushed yours, you should ask if you can hit a number for the other passengers, but don’t expect them to do it for you.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: The Break Up

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We live in a generation where the lines of communication have become both advanced and nonexistent all at the same time. There's no better proof of this than in the dating circuit, especially when it's decided that a relationship road must come to an end. Below are some common strategies for ending romantic relationships, as well as some thoughts regarding the appropriate way to handle these unfortunate situations with sensitivity and grace:

• Just Do It: The most annoying and inappropriate form of breaking up is the 'disappearance' of ones significant other. With all the resources out there to communicate and stay in touch, it's unacceptable to leave someone unsure of the status of your relationship. Manners dictate that no matter how scared you are to tell the truth, you must.
• I Want 2 Break up: That being said, texting and emailing are not the way to go either. Avoid delivering any serious news via a text message. With all the social online dating sites, your relationship may have started there, but it certainly shouldn't end using that forum.
• Time Sensitivity: It is important not to schedule this potentially difficult conversation around an important event for the other person. Holidays, birthdays, work deadlines, and final exams all count for 'bad timing.'
• Privacy: Put yourself in the other person's shoes. My guess is that you certainly would not like to receive this information at a bar, in a public restaurant, or the like. Treat the matter with respect and tell the person one-on-one in a private face-to-face setting.
• Move Along: When it's all over, show respect for the other person by keeping your negative thoughts to yourself. The only thing worse than being broken up with via text message is having this news plastered all over the internet via social media.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Staring

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We were all taught that if we were going to stare, we might as well 'take a picture, it'll last longer.' But sometime the people watching is half of the fun, not to mention the time it helps pass as we commute along during our workday. Somewhere between the idea that we should be flattered when people take notice of us and the fact that it is impolite to stare, lie the rules of everyday staring:

• Avoid Staring: It's always best not to stare, but some of us have to be cognizant of this action in order to stop it. If you're in a crowded space, try to focus your attention on something like your laptop or straight ahead on signage. It's okay to look around, but make sure you shift your glaze and don't fixate on any one single person.
• Dress the Part: If you always find yourself too curious to look away, consider investing in some sunglasses, or at least carry a distraction (i.e. newspaper or cell phone) so that if you do get too antsy, you can focus in on something else.
• Caught in the Act: If someone notices you looking their direction, the best thing to do is give them a quick and kind smile and then turn your gaze elsewhere. There's no need to make a big deal of it, but it can quickly become one if you don't stop.
• How to Respond: What if you're the object of a "Staring Tom?" Try your best to grant some mercy- and remember that perhaps they forgot their book or usual conversation partner for the day. If they don't look away, offer a quick smile and don't look their way again.