Making Etiquette Easy: A New Year at the Gym

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You've already read our initial rules for Gym Etiquette, but we've got a few more to share with you this time around. Since it is January, a month when gym memberships and usage typically jump up about 20 percent thanks to New Years' resolutions, it's the perfect time to get into the sweat and grime of some creative newbie- and veteran- mistakes. Thank you, WSJ, for reminding us of these hazards:

• Technology Shutdown: We all know (don't we?) that it's rude to talk on your cell phone while using exercise equipment. If you need to make a call - step out, and forfeit your machine. But you should also know that even having your phone on (awkward yoga class interruption, anyone?) or playing your own remix of tunes from your speakerphone are not cool.
• Salt & Water: Always wipe down your machines. Even if you didn't feel a mist, it's only right. And don't hog the water fountains, or -gasp - spit in them. These are fueling stations, not the bathroom.
• Machine Thieves: Since most gyms are like a cattle call this time of year, you can expect lines tens of people deep waiting on the machines. Don't be the person who walks up to an open one without checking the list first. Also know, it's not appropriate to sign your friends up for classes or machines if they aren't present.
• Knowing your place: If you've never tried a certain class - i.e. yoga or Pilate's, make sure to take your place in the back of the room if at all possible. This enables you to observe and learn, while not being a wobbly distraction to a very 'focused' practice.
• Be on the Lookout for Personal Trainers: Personal Trainers are everywhere. Make sure to check with them if you are about to use those extra dumbbells on the floor - or maybe that mat. Since trainers work in circuits, it can be easy to mistake an accessory as not being used, when really it is.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Paying for Advice

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What is it our parents always said?,"If Joey jumps off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Learn from other people's mistakes." But the reality is, some us still learn the hard way - trial and error. As it is with my own professional experience over the years, I have a wealth of friends and resources who have achieved similar gains in their respective fields. This means I typically know who to call should I need sound advice about my taxes, a new home purchase, or even a wardrobe makeover.

When you seek advice from friends or colleagues, here are the things to remember:

• People work for money. Try to remember this principle when asking to borrow someone's time, especially if it is taking time away from their family. Always make the first move and offer to pay for their time/service. They may turn you down, of course, but you should always offer and at the very least, take them to lunch or drop by a small gift.
• Creative paybacks are acceptable. As stated above, your friend may not accept payment from you, but odds are they will accept another form of gratitude. Perhaps you can offer to assist them in the future if they have a need that falls under your professional umbrella. Think of it as the 21st century barter...
• When in doubt, don't compromise. If you get the feeling that what you're asking for is too much, too privatized, or putting your friend in an awkward position, back down. It's far more important to preserve the relationship than to settle your questions in the present. You can always ask your friend for recommendations of other professionals to reach out to.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Shot Gunning the Front Seat

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For those of you who have kids - primarily teenagers for that matter- you know all about calling dibs on the front seat of the car. With family in town over the holidays, it seemed everyone was calling shot gun (even the adults!). It's in all of our natures to be a little self-serving when it comes to preferential seating, especially if it's going to be a long journey. And, there are some of us who get car sick in the back seat, but that's another story.

Here are a few guidelines to automotive seating graces:

• Hold Back: As hard as it may be for the go-getters in us, let others get into the car before you. Even if this means letting everyone else have choice seating, your patience will be noted.
• Age Matters: In the seating hierarchy, all grandparents or elderly should be offered the best seats in the car. This usually means the passenger seat or bucket seats immediately behind it, closest to the doors.
• Back of the Bus: All children should be seated in the back. Not only is this for their safety, but it certainly makes their appreciation for moving up a row something to celebrate years down the road.
• Take Turns: If you've got an unruly crowd, the best thing to do is to rotate. If it's your own family, you can make a chart. If there are multiple guests, invite the one who wasn't sitting up front on the way there to sit up front on the way back.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Email Signatures

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Email signatures- how you sign off at the bottom of an email is intended to wrap up the message in a polite and thoughtful way. For the most part, it should go relatively unnoticed. But like many of you, I've found myself uncomfortable finishing emails in ways that seem too formal, far too casual, or just plain odd.

Since many of us wear different hats (boss, coworker, volunteer, parent, etc.), you'll want to be sure to use the right signature for the right situation. Here are some overall guidelines:

• Be Consistent: Abruptly changing your email signature to an individual or client can signal a change in emotion. For example, if you've been signing off with, "Looking forward to hearing from you," a change to "Thanks" can be seen as a brush-off. Try to keep the flow with the same signature.
• Think before you Send: Email signatures are mostly common sense. For example, you wouldn't want to send a complaint email ending in "Warmly." Make sure the signature is appropriate for the message.
• Superior Signatures: If you're emailing your boss or a superior, an attitude of gratitude is always appropriate. Opt for "Thank you" or "Thanks very much."
• Resume Sign-offs: If you're trying to secure a job, the basic signatures we all know and love work best. Use "Sincerely yours" or "Truly yours" to establish your loyalty.
• Non-Professional Signatures: With other parents, coaches, volunteers or committee members outside of work, the best signature to use is "Best" or "All the Best."
• Acquaintance Signatures: If you know someone, but not that well, or if you've dissolved a friendship/relationship, a polite and transparent "Warmly" or "Kindly" works well. If there is an ongoing conflict, "Respectfully yours" is a politically correct way to go.
• Family: This is the only category where "Love" is acceptable (and kisses, etc.).

When in doubt, you can always use the tried and true, "Kind Regards" to sign off any email. It may come off a bit formal to some, but as I've learned through life, I'd rather be 'too dressed up' than not.

Making Etiquette Easy: Soliciting Donation Money

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Each of us has a cause we love to support, and in many cases we have several causes to support. Because we can be so passionate about those we are helping, it can be hard to draw the line between soliciting donations and abusing our friendships and families for every last dollar. Here are some guidelines to make sure your charity work is charitable for everyone:

• You should almost always feel comfortable approaching family for donations. They are your supports and should be the first resource you turn to. But with distant relatives, try not to reach out to them more than twice a year.
• With friends, you should limit your solicitations to two or three times a year, unless they explicitly state that they want to be more involved in all the work you are doing. You don't want someone to suspect your friendship is obligatory.
• It's okay to send out group emails to your contact list notifying them of opportunities, so long as you protect their email addresses by bcc-ing everyone.
• If you continually are ignored or refused, consider asking the person what causes they support and try to only notify them of similar causes. You should always try to help with opportunities they bring up as well. If you aren't getting anywhere, remove them from your call list.
  

Makinge Etiquette Easy: Wardrobe Intervention

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There are a lot of spoken (and unspoken) rules about what to wear to what kind of events around town. And yes, there is a right and a wrong way to put yourself together, especially for pop-culture events. It's hard to watch our unaware friends or coworkers show up to a wedding in white or a red dress to a funeral. But how do we stop it from happening? It's like a bad wreck and we can't help but look. Here are a few ways to help shelter your friends from realizing they should have done a double-take before leaving the house:

• If you are hosting an event yourself, be sure to specify the dress code on the actual invitation. This way, all guests are given a fair and advance notice of what will be the social norm when they arrive (i.e. "black tie" or "costume party"). You can't be too specific.
• If it isn't your event, call your friend/coworker up beforehand and ask what they plan on wearing to the event. This may give you a window to mention the printed dress code.
  
• If they still aren't getting the memo, volunteer to let them know what you'll be wearing. For example, "I heard it was more formal so we're going to wear black cocktail attire."
• When you get to the actual event, know that you've done all you can do. If they show up out of dress code, try your best to ignore it and have a good time.
  

Making Etiquette Easy: Boss-Employee Friendships

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The age-old question of whether or not bosses can be friends with their employees continues to evolve as new mediums of social interaction are established. With a lot of small businesses and even smaller work groups, the lines of obligation v. actual friendship are hard to draw. If you've got employees that you see outside of work frequently, consider the following:

• Stick to your role first: Remember that as a boss, you have to adhere to specific boundaries first and foremost. Because you have more power in the relationship, you must not abuse it for non-work related activities.
• Hierarchy: Since the hierarchy exists, it can be hard sometimes to develop an equal playing field for a friendship. If they happen naturally it's one thing, but don't force it.
• Don't blur the lines: If you begin questioning whether or not your employee likes spending time outside of work with you or not, try to step back and take a break from getting together for non-work related functions.
• Be honest: If you do feel the situation is getting a bit out of hand, talk to your employee(s) about drawing clearer lines between work and play. Let some time pass and only join in only occasionally. It's better to be professional first.