Making Etiquette Easy: Soliciting Donation Money

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Each of us has a cause we love to support, and in many cases we have several causes to support. Because we can be so passionate about those we are helping, it can be hard to draw the line between soliciting donations and abusing our friendships and families for every last dollar. Here are some guidelines to make sure your charity work is charitable for everyone:

• You should almost always feel comfortable approaching family for donations. They are your supports and should be the first resource you turn to. But with distant relatives, try not to reach out to them more than twice a year.
• With friends, you should limit your solicitations to two or three times a year, unless they explicitly state that they want to be more involved in all the work you are doing. You don't want someone to suspect your friendship is obligatory.
• It's okay to send out group emails to your contact list notifying them of opportunities, so long as you protect their email addresses by bcc-ing everyone.
• If you continually are ignored or refused, consider asking the person what causes they support and try to only notify them of similar causes. You should always try to help with opportunities they bring up as well. If you aren't getting anywhere, remove them from your call list.
  

Makinge Etiquette Easy: Wardrobe Intervention

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There are a lot of spoken (and unspoken) rules about what to wear to what kind of events around town. And yes, there is a right and a wrong way to put yourself together, especially for pop-culture events. It's hard to watch our unaware friends or coworkers show up to a wedding in white or a red dress to a funeral. But how do we stop it from happening? It's like a bad wreck and we can't help but look. Here are a few ways to help shelter your friends from realizing they should have done a double-take before leaving the house:

• If you are hosting an event yourself, be sure to specify the dress code on the actual invitation. This way, all guests are given a fair and advance notice of what will be the social norm when they arrive (i.e. "black tie" or "costume party"). You can't be too specific.
• If it isn't your event, call your friend/coworker up beforehand and ask what they plan on wearing to the event. This may give you a window to mention the printed dress code.
  
• If they still aren't getting the memo, volunteer to let them know what you'll be wearing. For example, "I heard it was more formal so we're going to wear black cocktail attire."
• When you get to the actual event, know that you've done all you can do. If they show up out of dress code, try your best to ignore it and have a good time.
  

Making Etiquette Easy: Boss-Employee Friendships

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The age-old question of whether or not bosses can be friends with their employees continues to evolve as new mediums of social interaction are established. With a lot of small businesses and even smaller work groups, the lines of obligation v. actual friendship are hard to draw. If you've got employees that you see outside of work frequently, consider the following:

• Stick to your role first: Remember that as a boss, you have to adhere to specific boundaries first and foremost. Because you have more power in the relationship, you must not abuse it for non-work related activities.
• Hierarchy: Since the hierarchy exists, it can be hard sometimes to develop an equal playing field for a friendship. If they happen naturally it's one thing, but don't force it.
• Don't blur the lines: If you begin questioning whether or not your employee likes spending time outside of work with you or not, try to step back and take a break from getting together for non-work related functions.
• Be honest: If you do feel the situation is getting a bit out of hand, talk to your employee(s) about drawing clearer lines between work and play. Let some time pass and only join in only occasionally. It's better to be professional first.
  

Making Etiquette Easy: They Want to Pay

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Let's face it, we can't all afford to dine at five star restaurants each night and travel every weekend to an exotic destination. But chances are, we all have friends who seem to indulge themselves a little more every once and a while. When they offer to pay for us to join in the fun, why is it so hard to accept them paying our way? Before you jump to say 'no' on the next evening out with your jet-setting friends, here are a few things to remember:

• They would be thrilled. People love to share fun things with good company. If they frequently have an over-the-top lifestyle, it certainly isn't belittling to welcome you in on their plans and pay for it. Remember that social offers aren't obligatory, they are for fun.
• A simple thanks will do. If they've made it clear they will be paying for the evening/activity, don't try to pull out your wallet or continuously make comments about how you feel you should be paying. Simply say thank you and remember to send a note.
• Real friends are just that. True friends actually want to spend time with you, and money isn't an issue. Consider it to be their version of hospitality, even if yours looks more like a backyard BBQ.
  

Making Etiquette Easy: Backing out of Financial Commitments

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While it's never fun to be the 'party-pooper' when it comes to doing fun things with friends, sometimes we find ourselves on the outskirts of the planning process and miss the memo about pricing. So if you find yourself in the runnings for splitting a big bill without your consent, it can be tricky to navigate a way out. If you have to say no, here's how to do it with class:

• In a perfect world, it's best to state your intentions up front, before the planning gets started. For instance, if a group of friends wants to go to Mexico next summer, let them know that your interested but that you have to stay within a set budget. Or if you worry the funds could get muddled, perhaps you state that you are considering buying your own lodging/food while there. This notifies the group that they cannot just lump you into the sum without permission.
• If the planners do make reservations without your consent, contact them immediately. Don't let things sit and stir as there still might be time to fix the problem. Let them know you misunderstood. If the cost is non-refundable and you do feel like you misled the others, offer to pay cancellation fees or even a portion of the trip cost- still much cheaper than actually going.
• Never borrow money to afford the trip.
• If you do decide to go or participate, don't be embittered towards the others in the group. Try to be a good sport and the next time there is a financial collaboration, offer to help organize so that you can control what is spent.
  

Making Etiquette Easy: Copycat Coworkers

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If you've ever been considered a 'fashionista' in the office, you've probably experienced your coworkers approaching you to ask where you purchased that top, how much those earrings cost, or who designed your shoes. While imitation may be the greatest form of flattery, it can be quite frustrating to see your coworkers show up within weeks wearing the exact same clothes, thanks to your tips on where to find them. Here's how to dissuade this copy catty-ness:

• Contrary to our very public culture, you don't have to be forthcoming about everything. Since many people just aren't aware of how invasive their questioning can be, it's important that you don't feel badgered into answering, which leaves you without control in the conversation
  
• Instead, respond with things like, "this old thing?" If the item is obviously brand new (as many trend-driven items are) you can communicate that you don't remember where you bought it. These days, many things can be bought second-hand or in vintage shops, where they are one of a kind.
  
• Another great way to redirect the conversation is to suggest places where they sell similar items, so you know you're coworker won't find the exact same article of clothing.
• As far as price quotes are concerned, don't feel that you have to divulge that information, either. Feel free to tell the other party that you'd rather not say, you don't remember, it was a gift, etc.

Making Etiquette Easy, Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Cubicles

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For those of you who work in close quarters like cubicle-styled offices, there is a whole new set of rules to abide by. Tensions run high when people don’t feel like they have their own space. Here are a few tips to remember if you’re in a tight spot:

• Avoid the urge to actively eavesdrop. Even though most noise travels pretty well, try not to answer questions if they aren’t being asked of you.
• Be aware of your vocals and keep them low. As your mother would say, use your ‘quiet voice.’ And when you need to talk to your next-door coworker, get up and go to their cube, do not yell over the wall.
• Don’t abuse technology. Speakerphones and music are out of the question. Bring headphones if you want to listen to something and otherwise just plan on contributing to the white noise.
• Cubicles are not private. For private conversations, suggest meeting in a meeting room with a closed door. Do not say anything within a cubicle you wouldn’t wish everyone in the office to know about.
• If you’d like to speak with someone, always ask if you can come into his or her space. Don’t surprise them. When a person stands or begins walking towards the entrance of the cubicle, that is your cue to politely exit.
• Munch lightly. If you have to eat at your desk, make sure you aren’t eating anything with a pungent aroma that will carry over the cubes.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina