Making Etiquette Easy: Backing out of Financial Commitments

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While it's never fun to be the 'party-pooper' when it comes to doing fun things with friends, sometimes we find ourselves on the outskirts of the planning process and miss the memo about pricing. So if you find yourself in the runnings for splitting a big bill without your consent, it can be tricky to navigate a way out. If you have to say no, here's how to do it with class:

• In a perfect world, it's best to state your intentions up front, before the planning gets started. For instance, if a group of friends wants to go to Mexico next summer, let them know that your interested but that you have to stay within a set budget. Or if you worry the funds could get muddled, perhaps you state that you are considering buying your own lodging/food while there. This notifies the group that they cannot just lump you into the sum without permission.
• If the planners do make reservations without your consent, contact them immediately. Don't let things sit and stir as there still might be time to fix the problem. Let them know you misunderstood. If the cost is non-refundable and you do feel like you misled the others, offer to pay cancellation fees or even a portion of the trip cost- still much cheaper than actually going.
• Never borrow money to afford the trip.
• If you do decide to go or participate, don't be embittered towards the others in the group. Try to be a good sport and the next time there is a financial collaboration, offer to help organize so that you can control what is spent.
  

Making Etiquette Easy: Copycat Coworkers

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If you've ever been considered a 'fashionista' in the office, you've probably experienced your coworkers approaching you to ask where you purchased that top, how much those earrings cost, or who designed your shoes. While imitation may be the greatest form of flattery, it can be quite frustrating to see your coworkers show up within weeks wearing the exact same clothes, thanks to your tips on where to find them. Here's how to dissuade this copy catty-ness:

• Contrary to our very public culture, you don't have to be forthcoming about everything. Since many people just aren't aware of how invasive their questioning can be, it's important that you don't feel badgered into answering, which leaves you without control in the conversation
  
• Instead, respond with things like, "this old thing?" If the item is obviously brand new (as many trend-driven items are) you can communicate that you don't remember where you bought it. These days, many things can be bought second-hand or in vintage shops, where they are one of a kind.
  
• Another great way to redirect the conversation is to suggest places where they sell similar items, so you know you're coworker won't find the exact same article of clothing.
• As far as price quotes are concerned, don't feel that you have to divulge that information, either. Feel free to tell the other party that you'd rather not say, you don't remember, it was a gift, etc.

Making Etiquette Easy, Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Cubicles

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For those of you who work in close quarters like cubicle-styled offices, there is a whole new set of rules to abide by. Tensions run high when people don’t feel like they have their own space. Here are a few tips to remember if you’re in a tight spot:

• Avoid the urge to actively eavesdrop. Even though most noise travels pretty well, try not to answer questions if they aren’t being asked of you.
• Be aware of your vocals and keep them low. As your mother would say, use your ‘quiet voice.’ And when you need to talk to your next-door coworker, get up and go to their cube, do not yell over the wall.
• Don’t abuse technology. Speakerphones and music are out of the question. Bring headphones if you want to listen to something and otherwise just plan on contributing to the white noise.
• Cubicles are not private. For private conversations, suggest meeting in a meeting room with a closed door. Do not say anything within a cubicle you wouldn’t wish everyone in the office to know about.
• If you’d like to speak with someone, always ask if you can come into his or her space. Don’t surprise them. When a person stands or begins walking towards the entrance of the cubicle, that is your cue to politely exit.
• Munch lightly. If you have to eat at your desk, make sure you aren’t eating anything with a pungent aroma that will carry over the cubes.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Telemarketers

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You’re sitting at the dinner table and the phone rings. Against your better judgment, you pick up, only to hear the familiar insurgence of sales words. Telemarketers can be downright frustrating, and it’s easy to consider dismissing them with the click of a dial tone. Since it’s not the person and rather the company you are really angry at, remember these things next time you get an unwanted call:

• Check Caller ID: If you have Caller ID, this is probably the easiest way to filter unwanted calls. If it’s a really bad time or you’re in a bad mood, don’t pick up. If you are ready to confront the issue politely and prevent these calls in the future, pick up with a friendly voice.
• Hear them out: Always try to patiently wait out their introductory speech. It’s likely as hard for them as it is for you. Wait until there is a break in the conversation before you interrupt.
• Express your disinterest: Be clear about your intentions. Leading a telemarketer on is not only rude, but it is costing them valuable commission money they could be making on another customer.
• You can be politely stern. If the telemarketer isn’t complying after you’ve expressed your disinterest, sternly state your ground again.
• Ask to be removed from their call list. An easy way to end these encounters in the future (ignoring them doesn’t mean they won’t keep calling) is to ask for a confirmation number that they’ve removed you. Then visit, www.donotcall.gov to manually remove yourself from most calling lists.
• At last resolve, if the person will not stop soliciting you, you’ve done all you can. Let them know you are going to disconnect the line, and then do so.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Basic Bathroom Etiquette

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It used to be that the restroom served on purpose, but these days it’s become a feeding ground for ill-mannered folks to feel like they can get away with a few more things than usual. So, we’re going back to the basics and taking a look at some bathroom etiquette, and for some of us, “laws of the ladies lounge.”

• Hall Pass: Remember when you used to have to take a large wooden peg with you to the restroom in school? Teachers started this when students began abusing their liberty of using the facilities. Instead, they would wander the halls and dilly-dally. The same thing has been happening in the workplace. Don’t abuse the privilege for reapplying makeup all day or wasting time.
• Always wash your hands and clean your mess. Of course we all know that the little metal handle is intended to be pushed, but too many people don’t follow-through on their flush. Be courteous to those coming in after you and make sure the stall is as neat or neater than when you left. If there is no toilet paper left, either replace it or alert maintenance. Always wash your hands.
• Pay attention when you enter the restroom. You may be in a huge hurry to go, but you should check underneath stalls (ladies) to see which ones are occupied. Pushing doors with flimsy locks can only lead to embarrassment for both parties.
• Respect your neighbor’s privacy. If there is only one other person in the restroom, try not to take the stall directly next to them. In the same light, do not carry on (or try to carry on) conversation with coworkers while in the bathroom. If you came together, whoever is finished should wait outside for the other person.
• Don’t call people from the restroom. Unfortunately this has become all too common these days. Using your cell phone in this private place creates anxiety for others who are in the restroom to use it, not to chat. Respect this policy and let people know you will call them back in a few minutes.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina