Making Etiquette Easy: Merry Christmas!

With the cultural melting pot of America today, many holidays now seem to be "competing for attention" with Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, pushing Hallmark and gift card vendors to scurry to design and distribute well-wishing expressions for everyone. We often tip-toe around commenting on our own traditions and shy away from greetings or beliefs that we’ve shared our whole lives so that we don’t ‘offend’ others.

Here’s why it’s okay to express your joy for the season, and in my case, ‘Merry Christmas!’

· Saying ‘Merry Christmas’ is exactly what it sounds like; you are wishing the other person the very best during this particular season - and who wouldn’t want that? Same goes when other people wish you diversified holiday greetings.

· Saying ‘Merry Christmas’ isn’t evangelizing. The phrase in itself does not try to push ideas or change a view point, it’s a recognition of the reason for the Christmas season as Christians celebrate the birth of Christ. Thankfully we still have freedom of religious expression in America.

Most folks are pretty laid back about this topic. I have several friends of other faiths who good-naturedly respond to my wishes with ‘you, too’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah.’ We respect each other's beliefs and opinions - and self-expression.

· If you are still uncomfortable, feel free to use the politically correct phrase, ‘Happy Holidays.’ Though a bit more impersonal, you know what you are celebrating that holiday season. But by no means do you have to keep your traditions a secret—it’s one of the few times of the year you can give insight into what makes you who you are.

With that, Merry Christmas everyone!

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: RSVP Do's and Don'ts

It’s fairly common knowledge that when invited to any event—be it a business function, a wedding, or a casual party— the names on the outer envelope dictate who specifically is invited. But sometimes it’s easy just to assume that the inviter didn’t know you had a significant other, didn’t remember your child, or forgot about that fun friend you have. Not so much my friends...

Here’s why it is not okay to RSVP for more than were invited:

· Consideration: Regardless of the circumstances, or how well you think you know someone, it is inappropriate to assume that they will be fine with you bringing extras.

· Money: This could be one reason your ‘whole group’ isn’t on the front of the envelope. A lot of times, people would love to have you come, but they cannot accommodate everyone in your group. So, they pick those they are closest with and hope that you will understand if you ever have to make those decisions yourself.

· Order and Size: Since most of us have been to an "organized" event with place settings, name cards, etc., you get the drift. Usually, there are only so many seats in the ‘house,’ and each seat has a name that goes with it. I’ve been to a few weddings that painfully had people standing around the periphery of the reception because there literally wasn’t enough room for ‘extra guests.’ And this rings so personal to me as we had very limited space at our seated wedding reception and were not able to include our guest's children. A handful of friends took the attitude, "well if my children are not invited, we just won't come," which was a shame. It was not that their children were not welcome, we just did not have the space to accommodate everyone we would have liked to...

· Social Dynamics: Always consider the host reserves the right for the party to look and flow the way they want it to. Maybe they are inviting only one person from a group of friends in order to shake things up a bit and let new people get to know each other. Think of it this way, you were on the invite list and you want to keep it that way.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: The Jobless Holiday Season

Holiday networking while unemployed can be extremely intimidating for even the best of social networkers. Here are some tips to make the most of those interactions since you never know when that next social introduction might lead to a professional opportunity.

1) When asked what you do or where you work – and you currently don’t – make sure you answer with reference to your previous position… “Well after five years at ____ I was part of the most recent downsizing. On the upside, it’s allowed me to consider career options and strengths I wasn’t able to capitalize on in my last position. What do you do?”

2) Have a game plan. When asked what type of work you are looking for, you need to have that 10 second personal “elevator” pitch pre-rehearsed.

3) Make sure you ask questions as well. There’s nothing worse than a one-sided conversation.

4) Always act interested and really listen to what the person has to say – there may be a nugget there that allows for a commonality or future interaction.

5) While unemployed, have personal cards professionally printed with your contact information. This steers you clear of a potentially awkward moment when someone gives you a business card and you have nothing to offer in return. (Major business supply stores will typically print 100 cards for $10 or 250 for $30)

6) If you feel you are making a professional connection with someone, ask if you can contact them in the next few days for coffee or forward them your resume.

7) Don’t come across as desperate or pushy. In today’s business climate, it is more acceptable to be unemployed, but it’s crucial that you appear to be managing your situation in the most professional manner possible.

8) Last but not least, always remember to hold your head high. There are alot of folks in your shoes right now, so you are not alone. We are all very hopeful for a brighter 2010.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Holiday Office Parties

While most holiday office parties are winding down, there are still some scheduled in the last week before Christmas. Knowing – and practicing – appropriate behavior at the holiday office party can be somewhat confusing. Every office environment has its own style, politics and expectations, so finding “your” place in the midst of those realities can certainly be overwhelming and uncertain. Here are few things to keep in mind….

1) Regardless of how much your boss and co-workers may be imbibing from the bar, limit yourself to one or two adult beverages during the course of the party.

2) Dress conservatively – this is not a “girls or boys night out.”

3) If there’s music and a dance floor, dance… but not on the table.

4) Never flirt with the boss’s spouse.

5) If someone’s spouse is flirting with you, gently excuse yourself and walk away.

6) Don’t leave the party with a co-worker… this is how career-killer rumors get started.

7) Do some advance research to determine the hobbies and personal interests of upper management. This is one of the few times you can connect with them on a personal level and find commonalities outside the office.

8) Arrive on time, but never be the last person to leave.

9) If the party is being held at someone’s home, bring a small, but thoughtful host gift.

10) Following the party, send a thank you note to the host and/or your boss for such a wonderful evening (even if it wasn’t).

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Holiday Party Hopping

So while Christmas is still a couple of weeks away, there are still plenty of parties to be had - and keep in mind that New Year's parties are just around the corner. Many times, there isn’t a single day this month that doesn’t have multiple conflicting events. So how can you do it all and be a handful of places ‘all at once?’

Here are some recommendations for making the most out of the events and correctly managing your host/hostess’ expectations:

· Set your priorities: Make a list of all the engagements you have coming up and rank them by order of importance. There are a few social obligations that you will be hard-pressed to get out of—such as your boss’ holiday open house or your mom’s annual Christmas cookie decorating contest. Assign everything an order of importance and go from there.

· Have a plan of action: Plug in everything (from above) into a calendar. Figure out exactly how much time you have to be where and try to stick to it. Consider hiring a driver so that you can slip in and out of events on schedule and without having to draw attention by waiting on valet.

· RSVP: When you call the host/hostess to let them know you will be attending, make sure you notify them then that you may have to slip out a little early for another event, but that you just couldn’t turn this one down. It’s important that they are aware you will be departing early before the night-of.

· Slip out: As a general rule of thumb, you don’t want to be at someone’s event for under one hour. When you do leave, don’t make it a grand exit, which could communicate that the party wasn’t good enough to hold your attendance. Instead, slip out quietly. When someone asks where you are, the response will probably be...’oh, I just saw them…” That’s how you want it to be!

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Do We Take the Dog on Holiday?

I don't know about you, but we have a dog. Since we have no children, our dog might as well be our child. He's pampered, knows it and completely deserves it. We rescued him from a shelter almost two years ago and it's been mutual love (and dog licks) ever since. During busy holiday travel times, the question always comes up between my husband and me, "do you think we can take Duke to so and so's house?"

Taking an animal with you to Grandma's (or Aunt Buffy's) house can be a little tricky. So here are some things to consider before deciding to bring along the "other" member of the family:

• Whatever you do, make sure you ask permission to bring your pet wherever you are going. If there's hesitation in the response, but you still want to bring your animal along, look into a kennel or pet resort in the area you are visiting. Call soon as they book-up fast.
• Even though you’ll only be with ‘family,’ you need to be cognizant of everyone’s needs. Not everyone loves your dog as much as you do, and just because no one has mentioned an allergy to dogs (or cats) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t inquire yourself. Pets are like people in many ways, and you wouldn’t show up to someone’s home with an ‘extra’ guest for any other occasion.
• If you do decide to bring your pet, make sure you’re well prepared. Carrying cases, leashes, plenty of food (asking to feed your pet from the table or pantry gets old fast), and bowls ensure that the host home doesn’t have to put their nice china out on the floor.
• Always keep plastic bags and clean-up materials handy. Even though ‘it just wipes right up,’ not everyone is comfortable with shedding hair or animals accidentally using the restroom in their home. Perhaps that’s why they don’t have one—or why they keep their pet outside. Be aware of the noise and smell of your animal, especially when inside a home.
• Lastly, if you do take your pet to someone's home for the holidays - or anytime - consider leaving a gift certificate or arranging for a cleaning service to come and clean their home after all the company is gone. Trust me, you - and Fido - will be welcomed back.

And if you decide to leave your pet at home, send them off for a ‘vacation’ too at your local groomer or pet resort!

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina