Making Etiquette Easy: RSVP Do's and Don'ts

It’s fairly common knowledge that when invited to any event—be it a business function, a wedding, or a casual party— the names on the outer envelope dictate who specifically is invited. But sometimes it’s easy just to assume that the inviter didn’t know you had a significant other, didn’t remember your child, or forgot about that fun friend you have. Not so much my friends...

Here’s why it is not okay to RSVP for more than were invited:

· Consideration: Regardless of the circumstances, or how well you think you know someone, it is inappropriate to assume that they will be fine with you bringing extras.

· Money: This could be one reason your ‘whole group’ isn’t on the front of the envelope. A lot of times, people would love to have you come, but they cannot accommodate everyone in your group. So, they pick those they are closest with and hope that you will understand if you ever have to make those decisions yourself.

· Order and Size: Since most of us have been to an "organized" event with place settings, name cards, etc., you get the drift. Usually, there are only so many seats in the ‘house,’ and each seat has a name that goes with it. I’ve been to a few weddings that painfully had people standing around the periphery of the reception because there literally wasn’t enough room for ‘extra guests.’ And this rings so personal to me as we had very limited space at our seated wedding reception and were not able to include our guest's children. A handful of friends took the attitude, "well if my children are not invited, we just won't come," which was a shame. It was not that their children were not welcome, we just did not have the space to accommodate everyone we would have liked to...

· Social Dynamics: Always consider the host reserves the right for the party to look and flow the way they want it to. Maybe they are inviting only one person from a group of friends in order to shake things up a bit and let new people get to know each other. Think of it this way, you were on the invite list and you want to keep it that way.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina