Making Etiquette Easy: Parental Job Favors

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Summer internships and entry-level jobs are just as competitive if not more competitive these days with a fresh crop of graduates and a shifting workforce. With parents striving to do what’s in their kids’ ‘best interest,’ it can be hard to draw the line on what is an is not acceptable in the way of giving kids an extra boost.

• Provide resources & connections: Aside from the opportunities provided by family businesses, there aren’t very many guaranteed jobs. It’s far better to provide resources (contacts, company lists, etc) to kids than to start by making calls on their behalf. Even if you are well connected in the community, applicants are respected for their self-initiative without the guaranteed push. Let them do their job search homework.
• Do not get involved: It is okay to talk with your son/daughter about their interviews or opinions, but do not call the potential employers to follow-up yourself about the interview, pull some strings, or debate their decisions. Not only is it unprofessional, it makes all parties uncomfortable and jeopardizes the job by making the candidate seem less autonomous. Don't be a "helicopter parent."
• Wait for the door to open: People will eventually find out that your son/daughter is looking for work by their own merit. When they contact you, it opens the door to speak highly about them and to see what opportunities might exist through a more natural conversation. From here, it would be appropriate for you to begin connecting your "emerging adult" with individuals since a conversation has already been started.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Recommendation Letters

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For those of us who tend to handle our own business, being at the mercy of a recommendation letter can fuel the feeling of helplessness. The cumbersome task of finding someone who thinks highly of us and writes well of us can be quite a chore. As with everything, there is a right and a wrong way to go about it. Keep these things in mind next time you need written proof of your capabilities:

• Face to face: Be sure to ask for a recommendation letter in person; it’s no easy task to set aside a half an hour to write on someone’s behalf. Be courteous by asking early and providing postage. If this is just not possible, pick up the phone and call them directly to request what you need.
• Be Informative: Provide a copy of your current resume, cover letter or other letter of key points/success milestones, website information, and any other relevant information pertinent to the letter. Make sure you ask someone who already knows you well and won’t need to do a complete background check.
• Follow-through: Always write thank you notes, even if you aren’t sure the letter was sent yet. Your note may also serve as a reminder, and showing appreciation for the task can only yield more positive feedback from the writer. Feel free to send a gentle reminder if you haven’t heard back from them, particularly if your deadline is approaching.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Money without Strings

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In business, we’re often faced with opportunities to treat our clients or potential business partners to out-of-the-ordinary events, from a five-star meal overlooking a super skyline to a relaxed weekend get-away. In each of these situations, we are playing host and allowing someone else to be our guest. With matters of money, etiquette is needed indeed:

• Options & Opportunities: When providing a client, boss or colleague the option or opportunity to do something, you are giving them a choice. Just because you are offering something paid-for, it doesn’t mean they are obliged to join in. Realize that business opportunities are just that, and if someone declines, do not take it personally.
• Grace & Humility: Yes, you are the one carrying the cash and signing the receipts, but this doesn’t give you permission to act in a flashy or arrogant manner. Keep cash tucked away and don’t share the value of activities with the group. Simply handling the bills and accepting a ‘thank you’ from clients or guests is the polite thing to do.
• Be consistent: It would be impolite for your guests to take advantage of what you are offering by expecting that everything be paid-for during a trip or similar affair, but it is equally as impolite if you mislead them into thinking everything is "covered," if it's not. The best policy is to be upfront. You are more likely to hit a home run with all of those in attendance and make the most of your hospitality.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Apologies

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It can be hard to follow the same rules in the office place that we follow at home, and much easier to apologize to our spouse and children than to our coworkers or bosses. But the act of apologizing gracefully is just as important in our professional lives. If we wish to continue all of our business relationships, a sincere apology is sometime necessary. Most of the time words are sufficient, but from time to time more is required. Here are some things to remember:

• Timing is Key: If you are actually with the person you offend, it’s best to offer an immediate apology. When you say you’re sorry face-to-face at the moment of impact, it leaves less time for emotions to fester and makes it easier to put it behind you. If you discover you’ve hurt someone later, call him or her as soon as you are aware of it.
• Write it Down: a verbal apology means something, but solidifying it with a letter or card can make a huge difference in how someone perceives your sincerity. If the offense was serious, consider sending flowers as a sign of regret. Don't be tempted to send an apology by email as it can appear much less personal.
• Avoid Excuses: When you apologize, make sure it is just that. Don’t load your request for forgiveness with a plethora of reasons why you behaved the way you did. An apology is only a real apology if it comes without baggage...and a sincere and graceful sentiment.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Body Language

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In all business situations, from interviews to corporate meetings, body language is an extremely important indicator of your mental awareness and your opinions about a certain subject. It’s a priceless art to master your self-knowledge on body language and be able to react accordingly. Here are a few tidbits of handy info to get your body (language) going in the right direction:

• Before you meet with someone, make sure you are well situated before walking into their office or conference room. Pulling up your pantyhose or adjusting your belt as you walk in the door make you appear sloppy and disheveled.
• Always look people in the eye. Do not, however, give them a blank stare. People are drawn to other people who actively engage in the conversation. Staring only creates the illusion of distance and can be awkward for the recipient.
• Shake hands as soon as you meet someone. Your handshake should be strong and firm, not limp, and not so hard that you injure the person you are meeting (I've actually seen this happen). Make sure you respect the other person’s personal space and haven’t applied so much perfume that you are a distraction.
• When seated, always sit up straight and lean slightly forward, appearing genuinely interested in what they have to say. Nodding and smiling go a long way. Make sure you do not slouch, lean your body towards the door (an indication that says you would rather be on your way out), tap your feet nervously, or rub the back of your neck. Crossing your hands also communicates that you are disinterested.

It is safe to mirror other people in a business situation and take cues from them. The most important thing is to know what your actions are communicating so you can assure you are sending the right message.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Dropped Calls

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How often do we find ourselves feeling like part of a local advertisement, yelling ‘can you hear me now?’ and running about until we find a place with better coverage? There will always be glitches with technology and we have got to find a better way to continue our conversations in a socially congenial way. Here are some tips to guide you when you can’t hear the person on the other line or the call drops:

• State their name in a question form no more than two times before hanging up. Repeating the persons name loudly and multiple times is inconsiderate to those around you and isn’t really helping the situation; If they’re not there, hang up.
• If a call is dropped, as a general rule of thumb, the person who initiated the call should be responsible for calling the second party back. This will help alleviate confusion when both lines are trying to dial one another, consequently canceling out the call again.
• When they do pick up, continue on with the conversation. We all know that phones have problems or accidents happen, and there is no need to rehash the story of something that has happened and will happen an infinite amount of times.
• Remember to keep your voice at a low to medium tone when you suspect someone may no longer be on the line. If they were still on the line, it can be very abrasive to hear someone yell through the phone, especially in a professional setting.
• If you are waiting on a person to call back after a dropped call, it is okay to try and contact them if it has been more than a minute or two.
• Still thankful for technology and...

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Host/Hostess Gifts

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When people open up their homes to host business or social events, it’s a welcoming gesture for you to share in the food, friends, and environment at their gracious expense. It’s important to remember that a small thoughtful gesture goes a long way. Here are a few tips on giving host/hostess gifts to remember year-round:

• If an event is being hosted in someone’s home, always bring a gift. You do not need to bring a host/hostess gift if an event is being held at a hotel, restaurant, etc, or if the corporation is sponsoring the event.
• Gifts are usually given right at the doorway to the host who is welcoming guests. If the host isn’t at the doorway, be sure to find them and give it to them personally.
• If you are attending a home event with your spouse or a date, only one gift is needed. If you are coming single, regardless of whether you are a male or a female, one small gift is appropriate.
• Gifts for both men and women include: flowers, chocolates, a bottle of wine, candles, gift baskets, stationary, dry recipe mixes, or gift cards

Coming with something in-hand means you appreciate all the work the host/hostess has done to assure a lovely event. And, it helps to keep you on the invite list next time.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina