Making Etiquette Easy: Tipping

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Have you ever found yourself walking out of an establishment or getting into your valet parked vehicle wondering, ‘should I have tipped that person?’ Here’s a refresher course on when and what to leave when certain services have been rendered:

The Tipping Scale:

Anything less than 10% indicates you were not satisfied

15% usually means that you had average service

20% or more means that you were exceptionally pleased

This scale is based off of the pre-tax total.

Who Should you tip?

• Skycaps at the airport
• Valet
• Paid Car Services/Paid Shuttles/Taxis
• Mechanics
• Barbers/Hairdressers
• Spa Services
• Floral Deliveries
• Food Deliveries
• Garbage Collectors
• Mail Carriers
• Bell Hops
• Concierge
• Maids
• Musicians
• Room Service
• Bartenders
• Waiter/Waitress
• Wash Room Attendants

Who should you not feel obligated to tip?

• Flight Attendants
• Bus drivers
• Doormen
• Desk Clerks
• Fast Food Employees
• Museum Guides
• Salespeople
• Theater Ushers
• Bus Boys

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Conversation Controllers

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We've all been at a party, a business meeting, a dinner, or a voluntary club with someone who loves to hear their own voice. It can be frustrating to withstand any social interactions with them, especially when what they're saying doesn't even really correlate with the subject at hand. How they could be so completely unaware really boggles the mind. Here's how to handle a person who constantly dominates the conversation:

• Listen. Yes, this is the hardest part. When all you want to do is talk louder than - or over - the individual, it is important to go ahead and let them get their thoughts out, at least initially. As long-winded as it may be, it's important not to shut the person down before they get started just because you remember they have a history of going on and on and on... you get the idea.
  
• Acknowledge them. It's true that many people who hog conversations are simply insecure or don't typically have an opportunity to speak their minds. Using their conversation as a starting point for another one or referencing points they made validates that you did hear what they had to say and can help keep their nervous rambling to a minimum.
  
• Invite others in. If you find that you still aren't soothing the problem, consider interjecting during pause points to turn and ask someone else a specific question in the group. This takes the spotlight off of the talker and forces them to let others take turns.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Makeup in Public

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As a businesswoman, it can be easy not to think twice about retouching my makeup whenever I see a need. Like most women, I'd like to think I look my best at all times, or at least presentable. So what's to stop me from doing so?

If you're with a close friend , these rules need not apply. But if you are in public, make sure you follow the basic beauty hygiene etiquette:

• Draw the line with lipstick. If you're sitting at a dinner table or bar, the only thing you should be reapplying is lip gloss or lipstick, seeing as you can typically get away with this without the use of a mirror. Another option is a small lipstick case with a built-in mirror as it offers the opportunity for a quick teeth check (smile) while also allowing you to apply lipstick at the same time.
• Be efficient. Don't set up any kind of beauty stand, mini-mirror, or bring out your entire makeup case (though I have probably done this a time or two after a long flight - guilty). The key is to exercise discretion and to hastily perform any touch-ups needed.
• Slip into the Ladies Room. If you need to apply powders, concealers, bronzers, mascara, or eyeliner, it's best to do these things behind closed doors. The residue of these items can be unappealing to your fellow guests or diners. If you can't be in the privacy of your own home, the women's room of any venue will do.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Business Over Friendship

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If you've been an established professional for a while, you probably have friends that span a full spectrum of career fields. So if you need IT help, an interior designer, a real estate agent, financial services, or any other major service, you have friends who are top of mind. And you consider yourself to be their first call should they require services from your industry. But if you find out that they sought someone else out without notifying you, what do you do?

• Be professional over emotional: The best thing you can do is maintain professionalism in how you handle the situation. Treat it as if it were a client who chose another firm. Yes, it's frustrating, but understand that it probably wasn't an easy choice for the other party as well.
• Learn from it: Use this situation as a learning opportunity to find out more. Suggest that the two of you go to lunch and casually bring up that you know they selected another person for the job. Let them know you'd like to better your business and ask what it would take to be more appropriate for their needs in the future.
• Don't hold a Grudge or Payback: Do your best to let it go. If you do require a service they provide in the future, you are free to use them or not. They've made their professional decisions clear and you are invited to do the same. Don't muddy their name or refuse to give them business as a result of something unrelated to your friendship.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Weight Comments

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We've all had a friend (or maybe even ourselves) who has successfully embarked on a diet that has dramatically changed the way they look. You think they look so fabulous you can't wait to talk to them about it, but wait just a moment. Here are some things to think about before saying anything, even with good intentions:

• If at all possible, wait for an opportunity. A lot of people are very uncomfortable discussing their weight and consider it a private matter, even if there is a remarkable difference. Wait for them to open up, or find opportunities to say something if they mention taking a weight watchers course or order differently off the menu.

If you are the one who lost weight, you can politely refer someone to your doctor if you're not comfortable talking about it.

• Don't use comparative statements: Never say something like, 'You've lost so much weight!' It insinuates that they were heavy before, and can be taken negatively. Consider replacing these statements with something like, 'you look awesome,' which has no connotations to what they might've looked previously.

If you didn't lose weight, it can be frustrating when someone comments on it and you feel that they remember you being heavier. If this happens to you, feel free to say you're the same or just change the subject.

• Be Genuine: People can sense when you are being genuinely curious, primarily if you are wanting to employ the same dieting/exercise tips to yield your own results. Just make sure that the weight loss is intentional and not something brought on by illness or stress, which can create a lot of sensitivity.

If someone has commented on your appearance and it's not the result of a positive and purposed decision, it's okay to just thank them. If you do want to open up, make sure to tell the person you're so glad they think you look good in the midst of your circumstances.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Private Conversations

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We were taught at a young age that whispering is rude, especially when done in front of others. As it turns out, this policy more or less remains true throughout our professional life. Being hush hush while blatantly being visible to other coworkers spells a recipe for disaster by creating mystery and potential concern. Here are some rules when it comes to ‘keeping your cards close’ conversations:

• Avoid public places for private conversations. This is the bottom line. If you are somewhere public, you risk someone overhearing you. Do not have private conversations in restrooms, open-air cubicles, or near the water cooler. It’s exclusive in a taunting way and can undermine your professionalism with perceived childish behavior.
• Protect your digital conversations. Anything you send on company email can be traced by even a halfway competent IT specialist. This includes reviews, promotions, etc. If it’s an important and confidential document, print it out and send it via hard mail. This also goes for any chatting servers you use.
• Private means just that. If you have a private business matter to discuss in regard to work issues, take it behind closed doors. Be professional and keep it as succinct as possible. There's nothing that starts rumors faster than an office door that's shut for an unusual amount of time with key players exiting an hour later. Timing is key, so be mindful of having a meeting that requires a closed door.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina