Making Etiquette Easy: Better Offers/Invites

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How many times have you found yourself lightheartedly accepting a social offer and later putting your foot into your mouth when you’re presented with a better one? It happens to all of us at one time or another. How were you to know that you were going to be given front row concert tickets to your favorite band of all time the same night you agreed to go to a pal’s birthday party?

There are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, here are the rules for accepting and handling obligations:

• Weigh all offers carefully: Before you ever accept an invitation - be it a a social event, a networking opportunity, or a corporate obligation - think through it carefully. It’s okay to let someone know you are appreciative of their offer and get back to them at an acceptable date in the near future. If you are trying not to miss important annual events, anticipate their timing by searching online in advance.
• Commit and don’t look back: Once you say ‘yes,’ make your word as good as gold. You may receive several invitations for the exact same date and time, but you’ve already committed to one. The most important thing to remember is that your reputation is built on your trustworthiness, which starts with honoring your commitments.
• Express regret: When you do receive other offers, make sure to let the inviting party know immediately that you have a prior commitment, but that you are grateful for their offer and would love to "take a rain check" (if applicable). It is impolite to discuss all the other events you had to turn down with the host of the event you do actually attend.
• If you have to cancel…In rare circumstances, you might find yourself with no choice but to cancel your initial RSVP. These circumstances include: family illness or death, or any other kind of unforeseen catastrophe. Most other excuses on the list risk generally are considered in bad form and your hosts may not forget or forgive them easily. As it is in business with clients, you should always treat each obligation as if it were your only one.
• And whatever you do, do not cancel via email. Always call the person/organization to which you are committed with an appropriate apology. If it's a speaking engagement or business commitment, always have a back up plan so you are no leaving those to whom you've committed in a lurch.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina