Making Etiquette Easy: Networking that Works

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With Happy Hours and industry events every other weeknight, we’re constantly faced with the opportunity to showcase our best and/or worse sides. Seeing as these events usually occur at the end of a long workday, it’s easy to get tired and give up on continuing the niceties we try to maintain from 9-5. Here are three key tips to consider the next time you find yourself surrounded by like-minded professionals working the room:

• Business Cards: Always bring your own and ask for others at appropriate times. Make sure to review the information and make a note about where you met the person/who introduced you, etc. on the back of their card. Have a professional place to store them while out and about (not just stuffing them into your purse) and consider investing in a business card scanner once you are back in the office to keep track of all those newly formed business contacts.
• Eating & Drinking: Let’s face it, you’re pretty hungry come 6pm. Make sure that the purpose of your being at any networking event isn’t to eat- it’s to meet. You may politely excuse yourself to grab a bite when you notice others are doing the same. As a general rule of thumb, one cocktail or none is best. Yes, it’s free, but that one free drink may cost you a lot more in the end if you aren’t cautious.
• Be Authentic: In an industry filled with exciting, well-connected people, it can often be easy to be intimidated which can cause you to actually come across as false or desperate. Remember to hold your own, not to brown-nose, and to sincerely ask for connections when you have earned a person’s trust. There is a difference between being personable and being overbearing. Always be yourself.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Eating in a Group

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Since I'm having more and questions about this during presentations and yes, while having dinner, let's talk about table settings and manners.

Eating in a group setting for business purposes has ‘test’ written all over it. While many a businessperson walks into this unknowingly, it’s important to be aware of what our actions say in a dining setting. Good manners at the table mean good manners just about everywhere else. Here are some things to keep in mind before you ‘dig in’:

• Seating: If you’re at a formal sit-down dinner or at an event where there's a speaker ore entertainment, be sure to humbly take the seat with your back to the program. By doing so, you are communicating that you are willing to give up the better seats for others and that you don’t over-esteem your self importance. How much better it is to have someone usher you to a better seat than visa versa.
• Conversation: Sometimes it just so happens that the person you want to engage in conversation with is way across the table from you. In order to make this work, you must first engage the folks beside you so that no one is left out while you are left shouting across the table. If this doesn’t work, feel free to politely excuse yourself to walk around the table and finish your conversation at a comfortable decibel level, but keep it brief. Once the speaker or entertainment begins, politely go back to your seat.
• The First Bite: People always have a hard time deciding when to follow dining rituals. The best rule is to watch for the host to make a move (i.e. unfold their napkin or pick up their fork). You’d rather be late than early.
• Portions: If the dining atmosphere is buffet-styled, be sure to let others go in front of you. Always take a normal portion on your first trip through the buffet. Taking doubles could be construed as a lack of restraint, taking too little can also raise an eyebrow as well. If other people are going back for more, you may follow their lead.

As a general rule, never be first, never be last, and remember that you aren’t there for the food; you’re there for business.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Watch Your Back

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It never ceases to amaze me how things done ‘in private’ are exposed to the public’s eye so quickly. Just watch the nightly news to see highlights of unfathomable acts that occur right in our own back yards. It makes for a great personal reality check—one in which we should examine our own behaviors and private lives—because we never know when someone (or the world) is looking over our shoulders.

What you Read: Have you ever thought twice about throwing that racy love novel in your handbag to read on your break from work? Maybe you should. If you can’t imagine the passages out loud to your coworkers, you certainly wouldn’t want them reading it from over your shoulder. Same goes for any sort of scandalous content—from magazines, kindle books, and email articles…keep it clean, especially at the office.

What you Do: Keep your personal calendar personal and your work calendar professional. None of your fellow employees need to know when it’s time for your annual female appointment, that you have a meeting with a divorce attorney, or that it’s time to refill your prescription creams. Airing your personal schedule gives people reason to build ideas and opinions of you that you don’t have the chance to defend or explain fully. Your private life should stay just that, private.

What you See: When watching videos on your iPhone or TV, pay attention to those around you. No one deserves to see things they didn’t want to simply because you’re carrying it around on a portable device. A couple of months ago, a consultant was being interviewed at his office during a live television segment while his coworkers were working at their desks behind him. Suddenly, inappropriate images of women popped up on his coworker’s computer and it made national news. So much for good corporate PR. Thanks to a careless employee, his company now has a black eye. What you intend for your personal viewing should not be assumed so while in a public place, ie; an airport or plane, train or office setting. Always remember to keep it clean folks.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Gift-Giving

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We all enjoy receiving and giving gifts. And though it’s not a part of your job, there will be occasions throughout the year that beckon you to be generous and give gifts to coworkers or bosses. Sometimes these are organized events, and sometimes they are just out of the goodness of your heart. Whichever the case, know that it is important to thank those who support you professionally, and that an appropriate gift can be just the appreciation they need. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfalls of gift giving and stick to what’s right:

Always check for gift-giving guidelines in the office. Typically, the bigger the company, the more specific the rules are. You wouldn’t want to come across as brown-nosing or force other coworkers to feel obliged to buy the boss something simply because you weren’t aware you breached the price limit. When it comes to clients, I prefer to send gifts to their home which also makes it more personal and helps protect you from potential office fodder or gossip.

In organized exchanges, always, always, always stay within the price limit. Think carefully about the hobbies and interests of the person you are buying for and purchase something specific for them. Try to avoid gag gifts. Avoid anything homemade as it often makes people uncomfortable, unless it is a treat to share with the whole office. Most gifts should fall within the $20-$25 range so as not to be excessive.

Things that make for great gifts include anything that has to do with food or dining gift certificates, greenery or plants, entertainment-related items like movies or CDs, alumnae-related items from the person’s alma matter, or services like manicures/pedicures (so long as they don’t insinuate the need for more hygiene). Things to avoid include anything that could be considered culturally or sexually offensive, self-improvement items, or perfumes and colognes.

Finally, don’t feel like you have to go buy a gift just because someone gave one to you—simply write a note of appreciation. Gifts aren’t about obligation, they should always come from the heart.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Listening-In

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You’re sitting at your desk and you hear something that instantly makes your ears perk up. Maybe it’s a coworker discussing the same problem you’re having with your boss, or perhaps it’s a client sharing some pretty wild gossip about their company or CEO. As humans, we will always be curious and instinctively invasive when we hear something we want to know more about. When this happens though, try to remember some key tips to keep you out of the fire instead of naturally throwing yourself right into it:

As a general rule, practice selective hearing. You only have to ‘hear’ what you really want to hear. Trust me, most wives know this to be a well-trained characteristic in their husbands. If you hear something you know isn’t a conversation for you to partake in, tune out or play some music for distraction.

The worst thing to do when you overhear something is to discuss what you overheard with other coworkers. Gossip can be a career killer. You are simply fanning the fire by spreading news that isn’t your own to share. Bite your tongue and respect the person you overheard in the same way you’d like them to do if it had been you sharing vulnerable information not intended for other ears.

Avoid the urge to bandage a situation with your input. Not only is it startling to have a coworker butt in on a conversation you weren’t aware was public, but it can also damage their situation as opposed to helping it. Remember, help is always most appreciated when it’s asked for. If you feel that it is necessary to be of help, don’t start the conversation by saying that you overheard something. Instead, let them know that you can tell they are distressed and you wonder if there is any way you can help. This will open the door for them to confide in you - if they so choose - not to be suspicious of you. Information is power and you must always be careful how you use it.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina

Making Etiquette Easy: Spring Break

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Ahh... Spring Break. Many of us, at one time or another, have indulged in a festive vacation over what is known in the U.S. school-system as ‘Spring Break.’ And though we can have the best time of our lives and go completely hog-wild, there are unspoken rules for what’s okay to share and say before, during, and after our trips.

Here are a few tips that may help guide you through the Spring Break vacation season:

In Advance: Aside from requesting the vacation time well in advance (I suggest 2-3 months notice for week-long vacations), it's good to inform the key people that your absence will affect while gone. After the initial discussion, try not to continually bring up the topic of your vacation since not everyone is going to Cancun with you. And though challenging it may be, don’t mentally checkout before your actual vacation starts. (I know, this is a hard one.)

When you leave: Make sure you’ve tied up any loose ends before departing (i.e. delegate appropriate responsibilities, answer all pertinent emails and set up an away-reply email/voicemail, designate someone to be responsible for your clients (if needed), and then…. leave work at work. Try not to be one of those folks who ‘work’ on vacation. This is only fair to you and your family or those with whom you are traveling. And remember, if you do work while on vacation, you will more than likely regret it.

Afterwards: Of course you’ll want to share stories about your fabulous cabana and the impeccable wait-staff, but don't go into too many details. Designate some time to talk about the vacation over lunch with your coworkers and let them know that you first need to start catching up on work once back in the office. If you want to share photos, make sure you only bring appropriate photographs to the office (i.e. you in a bikini is probably not the most professional), and do not discuss anything that pertains to alcoholic or sexual encounters with anyone in your office - or on your social website postings.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina