Making Etiquette Easy: Eating in a Group

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Since I'm having more and questions about this during presentations and yes, while having dinner, let's talk about table settings and manners.

Eating in a group setting for business purposes has ‘test’ written all over it. While many a businessperson walks into this unknowingly, it’s important to be aware of what our actions say in a dining setting. Good manners at the table mean good manners just about everywhere else. Here are some things to keep in mind before you ‘dig in’:

• Seating: If you’re at a formal sit-down dinner or at an event where there's a speaker ore entertainment, be sure to humbly take the seat with your back to the program. By doing so, you are communicating that you are willing to give up the better seats for others and that you don’t over-esteem your self importance. How much better it is to have someone usher you to a better seat than visa versa.
• Conversation: Sometimes it just so happens that the person you want to engage in conversation with is way across the table from you. In order to make this work, you must first engage the folks beside you so that no one is left out while you are left shouting across the table. If this doesn’t work, feel free to politely excuse yourself to walk around the table and finish your conversation at a comfortable decibel level, but keep it brief. Once the speaker or entertainment begins, politely go back to your seat.
• The First Bite: People always have a hard time deciding when to follow dining rituals. The best rule is to watch for the host to make a move (i.e. unfold their napkin or pick up their fork). You’d rather be late than early.
• Portions: If the dining atmosphere is buffet-styled, be sure to let others go in front of you. Always take a normal portion on your first trip through the buffet. Taking doubles could be construed as a lack of restraint, taking too little can also raise an eyebrow as well. If other people are going back for more, you may follow their lead.

As a general rule, never be first, never be last, and remember that you aren’t there for the food; you’re there for business.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina