Making Etiquette Easy: New Friends

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Of course it's true that everyone is busy, but that doesn't mean that we don't crave spending time with quality friends. Maybe you've built up quite a network in the social community, but maybe you haven't. For those of you who travel a lot or work from home, it can be challenging to land and maintain friendships. Here's how you go about it- whether you're a veteran friend-finder or a novice:

• Be Bold: The main reason we miss out on friends is often because we don't seize the moment. When you meet someone intriguing or like-minded and you've shared some time in conversation, be sure to ask for their card or at least get their name. You never know when your circles may cross again. It's perfectly okay to let someone know you enjoyed their company and would love to get drinks in the near future.
• Follow-Up: May people freeze when it comes to figuring out how long to wait and what to suggest. Yes, calling a new friend can often feel like a cold-call to ask someone on a date, but at least the romantic variable is removed. Wait at least a week or so and then suggest to meet somewhere neutral (i.e. a park if you are a stay-at-home mom, a local restaurant you've been wanting to try, or doing something unique to the city you just moved to). If they turn down your initial offer, put the ball in their court to see if they have any other times/ideas.
• Look for common interests: When you kick off a new friendship, focus on your common interests. Sometimes it's easiest to establish friendships with people you know you will see regularly (i.e. at the group yoga class, the art class, or when you both volunteer at the church).
• Let it evolve naturally: Some of us have experienced the 'crazy boyfriend/girlfriend' scenarios where they wouldn't stop calling or they would show up unexpectedly at our door. This is not who you want to be to your new friend. Some people may literally not have enough time to do things; some may have too much time. Be patient and let things play out naturally. Keep yourself in control and always remember you can say 'no,' too.
• Introduce them to your 'old' friends: If you enjoy your new friends company, why not share it? Invite them to be a part of your broader circle of friends if you live close to everyone. If not, start the foundation for a new circle of friends.

Making Etiquette Easy,

Susan K. Medina