Image from PBS.org We've talked about the rules for writing thank-you notes- a fundamental part of following etiquette. But more than just a social courtesy, a thank you note " acts like a receipt and closes the social circuit,” says Jodi R. R. Smith, author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman. Without one, we as gift-givers aren't even sure the gifts were received. Here's what's appropriate to do/say when you haven't received a word of thanks:
- It's usually best to give the receiver a couple of weeks to acknowledge your gift. If the receiver is on their honeymoon, vacationing, or a new mom, your time frame should be more flexible.
- When you've allowed for a reasonable amount of time, give the person a call to check in and see if they've received your gift. In doing this, you aren't directly asking for a thanks, but merely making sure they received the gift (though it may prompt a thank you).
- If you gave the gift in person and therefore know they received it, you might consider asking if they liked the gift and offer to give them a gift receipt if there was any trouble (and be sincere about it, not a meddling Mellie).
- All in all, some people will never send thank-you notes. If you've done everything you can to prompt them as mentioned above, just let it go. Ultimately, the gift should be about the thoughtfulness behind it and while deserving of a thank you, may not always be acknowledged. We are not offering an excuse for the "I just don't write thank you notes" set, but reminding us all that the lack of good social practice is about the person doing it, not the person at which it's being directed.
Making Etiquette Easy,
Susan K. Medina
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