Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Making Etiquette Easy: TMI

Image from www.mollythornberg.com

We've all heard the phrase, "too much information," or "TMI" for short. It's a blatant overstepping of boundaries when someone decides to reveal or discuss information we would have been just fine not knowing about in the first place. Bathroom humor and specifics about illnesses typically fall into this category. But what about the rest of the "gray" area - stuff that may or may not be that controversial to share - especially with our coworkers who've become like family?

It's almost impossible not to open up and let coworkers in on our lives, especially considering that we spend most of our waking hours, lunches, and sometimes even dinners with this group of folks. Here's our guideline for knowing what information you should and should not volunteer:
  • Keep your "game" face on. Decisions about your character, your work ethic, etc. are being judged everyday at work. While you don't always have to have the facade of being perfectly astute and without mistake, everything is taken into consideration when it comes to advancement or promotion. It's hard for a boss or employer to not consider you a risk if, for instance, they're aware of your credit card debt, nasty divorce, or see you crying on a weekly basis because of personal issues.
  • Keep your cards close. Many things will unavoidably be shared. For instance, you may be going through a divorce, leaving work for a death in the family, or making frequent trips to the doctor. Since many of these activities take away from your time at work, you can volunteer the reason, just do your best to keep personal details vague. Coworkers can appreciate your honesty without having to go through all the motions with you.
  • Don't chat on the clock. If you do feel like confiding and sharing, save it for lunchtime or after work. Outside of the general, "how was your weekend" kind of greeting, you shouldn't be going through your minute-by-minute routine.
  • Remember that it's a two-way street. Limit the amount of information you burden on your coworkers (remember, they're not getting paid for this!), but also, don't pry into the lives of others for their personal information.
  • Share joys and keep the bummers quiet. As a general rule, if you've got something worth celebrating, like a new birth or wedding announcement, by all means let people know. But if you've got family drama or depressing news, keep it more private. The bummer items are great to take to your local minister or best friends outside of work.
  • Finally, if despite all your best efforts, you're just not the type to differentiate between your 'work self' and 'personal self,' know and accept the fact that professional opinions will be formed and taken into account when corporate decisions are made.

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