Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Making Etiquette Easy:How to Respond When You're Not Sure

Image from www.ecoquisitive.wordpress.com

We all know the situation well...that terribly awkward silence that ensues when someone asks something for which you should know the answer. Whether you're a professional who needs to brush up on your "stuff" or an interviewee who's caught like a deer in the headlights, everyone should know the social graces to get around the stammering, uncomfortable silence, and (heaven forbid) temptation to lie.

Follow these rules to appear you're prepared, even when you really aren't:
  • Do not lie. No matter how large the conundrum; do not fabricate a response. Doing so could single-handedly ruin your reputation, or, what's left of it since you clearly didn't have the right answer. Resist all urges to pull together something 'smart,' since most folks can detect an insincere or "made-up" response from miles away.
  • Pause, but don't quiver for long. It is perfectly appropriate for you to pause and collect yourself, especially to recall bullet point number one. However, after a short lull, you should be prepared to face the questioner and provide them with some semblance of a response. Staying silent will only cause confusion and embarrassment for both parties.
  • Confess or redirect the conversation. Depending on the scenario, it may be best for you to respond with a "that's a great question." If you are unsure of the answer, but feel that you could seek it out through research, a colleague, or that the answer will be made known in the near future, offer to get back to the person.
  • Be articulate but not political. Try not to let your nerves get the best of you. Say what you need to say to evacuate the situation in a politically correct manner, and then leave the topic in the dust. There's humility in being able to laugh and poke fun at your own shortcomings.
  • Learn from these "what in the world just happened" moments. As soon as you are able, research your answer and rehearse how you could respond differently next time. While you can't know it all, at least you will be better prepared should the same topic arise in the future.

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